The chief enemy of creativity... is "good" sense. ~Pablo Picasso

woe is me... a trip to the DMV

If there might be something worth paying a lot for... for me it would be a stand-in at the DMV.

The state of California made a mistake. Shocking. My new drivers license comes in the mail... a month after I spent 4 hours sitting in that waiting room and it's wrong. Yes they asked if the information was correct before I left - but it was the form I filled out correctly - not the way you typed it in... incorrectly. 
My birthday is in September (9) not April (4) which is what my ID says. I can see how easily that can be confused... And since I wasn't all that worried about it being right... I never changed it. 

Until... the guy at the airport gave me a hard time. 
With a lot of travel in the upcoming year I thought I might try to nip this problem in the bud before it became too much of an issue at a very inopportune time. 
Headed back to the DMV to try and make things right. In my possession I have the incorrect ID and my passport. Because your passport is the ultimate identification right?
The lady says I have to bring in my birth certificate (even though the birth certificate is what verified my date of birth for my passport...) I mostly see her eyelids, since she doesn't make a lot of eye contact. They're colored a nice "calming" lavender clear up to her eyebrows. I try and take a hint and calmly do as she asks. 

I know I'm an impatient person and so instead of arguing with her I agree to go home, get my birth certificate and come back... Yes, that means, pull another number and wait... again. Like I said, a good lesson on the importance of patience.

When I return, birth certificate in hand, I take a number and wait patiently. My number is called and I make my way up to the woman with the very familiar purple eyeshadow... again. 
I explain my situation - because she doesn't really seem to recall our conversation just a few hours ago (again, she sees a lot of people, and I'm working on my patience... right)

Again she explains to me that I will need to verify my birth date with my birth certificate. Armed with the correct documents this time I hand over my birth certificate. The only birth certificate I've ever seen, I've ever had. She looks at me and says... 

 "we don't accept miniatures."
 I kindly offer my passport as a secondary reference for my date of birth and she nods her head no. My brain is saying a lot of things at this point but I try and maintain my composure and ask, 

"out of curiosity - what does the "size" of the paper have anything to do with the information that it contains?"

"We don't accept miniatures" She replies

"But this is the only birth certificate I have... that I've ever had. This is the birth certificate I brought in with my a few months ago that this office accepted as a legal form and... this is the birth certificate I sent out with my other legal documents to get my passport renewed just a few months ago... and the federal government seemed to be ok with it?"

"We don't accept miniatures. You'll have to call the state of Iowa and ask for a new one" she responds

"But this is the one they issued my parents when I was born, so how do I go about asking for one that isn't a "Miniature" - what if this is the only sized birth certificate the state of Iowa offers?"

"Well we don't accept miniatures" she again responds. 

She then hands me a sheet of paper where she has scribbled down the number in Iowa that I should call to get a new birth certificate. I step aside and make the call right then and there. 

"I'm sorry the number you have dialed has been disconnected or changed"
Of course it has... 

Anyone want to stand in for me at the DMV - or attempt to contact the state of Iowa with a request for a "non miniature" birth certificate? 

They way I see it, I've already been there twice, so it's certainly not something new!!!

                      Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue.
 -Ambrose Bierce
The Devil's Dictionary, 1911 

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